Con-Con proves that when you wish upon a star be careful what you wish for

Right off the bat, be aware that Convergence-Continuum’s production of Buddy Thomas’ “Wonderland Wives” is not inhabited by the fairy tale characters that you grew up with. It is R rated leaning heavily towards an R+. It is a naughty romp through Wonderland where nothing is sacred and no holds are barred. As has been pointed out it is a show “for mature audiences with very immature tastes”.

It is “happily ever after” except that nobody is happy and “ever after” is taking its old sweet time in passing. Snow White’s husband left the castle four years ago “to get a bucket of milk” and has not returned. It is rumored that he is shacking up with the three little pigs. Prince Charming is just getting out of prison after serving a ten yard stretch for a long list of offenses. He is ready to nail anything and all. His loving wife, Cinderella, has spent the waiting years putting on a bit of weight to the point that she needs a license plate and a beeper when she backs up. Prior to being sent to the big house, Prince had a thing going with Ariel whom Cinderella has hinted is now sleeping with the fishes and may have been the main course of a surf dinner she served to Prince.

Alice has been spending a lot of time down the rabbit hole sharing the hookah with the Caterpiller and is zonked out of her gourd most of the time. She has something to make you small, something to make you tall and something to help your grow...a third tit. Belle’s house is overrun with litters of furry little monsters from her coupling with Beast.

In desperation, Belle has left Beast and forced herself onto Cinderella. They are joined by Sleeping Beauty and when Charming arrives an all out orgy breaks loose. Snow is trying desperately to keep the fresh out of rehab Rose (Beauty) clean, Alice from getting them all high, getting her husband back from the pigs, keeping Belle from killing her husband and eating her out of house and home and most important getting them all the hell out of her castle.

On top of that there is a conniving magic “mirror-mirror on the wall” who was stolen from the evil queen who everyone has thought was dead but in fact is trapped on Evil Island where all the baddies have moved to and started a convent. Cindy rows out to the quarantined land of the wicked to enlist the aid of Grimhilde (Queeny). In exchange for a special spell (a really potent apple that makes everyone who eats it super horny...like they needed that) the queen wants the mirror back for carnal purposes.

First off the set by Cory Molner needs to be mentioned. The crew at Con-Con have out-done themselves for this show. They have built a castle complete with gates, stairs, stone floor, ivy covered walls and a little nook for the magic mirror. The actors are a collection of blind casting with drag queens taking on some of the delicate parts. They are boisterous, loud, naughty and out to have a good time riding the Charmingmobile. Scott Zolkowski gives the cast free reign to play it as high and broad as possible. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING...is sacred. It is a laugh riot for those not ashamed of a little guilty pleasure.

This show takes wholesome characters that we all loved and grew up with and turns them on their ear. It’s a warped version of “Real Housewives of Wonderland” as they cut each other to ribbons and with all manner of addictions sweeping through the magic kingdom. It is a hoot and a half proving that happily ever after is not what it is cracked up to be. Bring your adult Prince Charming or Princess along for a good laugh.

Convergence-Continuum’s production of “Wonderland Wives” will be on stage at the Liminis Theatre, 2438 Scranton Road, Cleveland, Ohio through December 23, 2023. for more information and tickets go to https://www.convergence-continuum.org/ or call (216) 687-0074.