Con-Con’s ‘I Wanna F*** Like Romeo and Juliet’ is almost good

Convergence-Continuum prides itself in being “Cleveland’s up-close and OUT there Theatre” (proof of this can be found in past productions such as the delightfully nutty “The Squirrels”). Their latest romp is titled “I Wanna F*** Like Romeo and Juliet”. It is a gay play that delves into relationship dynamics, Greek mythical creatures, a Catholic Saint and existentialist crisis. Pretty much standard fare for Con-Con.

Cupid (Rajah Morales) is a Latino deity who has had it with her role of bringing lonely people together only to have them break up somewhere down the road. She has abandoned her bow and arrow set-up for the more efficient shot gun of love in order to introduce wanton lust into earthly lives. She has even very painfully torn off her cupid wings as an act of defiance to the gods.

Meanwhile her cohort in love matters, Saint Valentine (Wolfgang Coulan), who simply goes by Valentine, is spying on two gay lovers Benny Randle (Noah Christopher) and Alejandro Diaz (Jose Veliz) in Hackensack, N.J. who after a meaningless late night argument are breaking up.

Coming out of a six year commitment, Alejandro decides on a plan of a total makeover of exercise, food, medical exams and dental work. It is during his dental check up that he meets Betti (Yuval Tal) a practical dental hygienist whose focus in life is her career. It is during his teeth cleaning that Alejandro breaks down in tears causing Betti to do the same. They realize that they are two lonely people who could have a platonic relationship in order to learn from each other.

Meanwhile, Valentine leaves Earth and flies back to Cupid who is sitting on an asteroid watching Earth. She tells of her disgust with the state of love on the fourth rock from the sun and how she has given up. Valentine tricks her and together they plummet to Earth as a fiery comet and as they land an enraged Cupid begins chasing Valentine with her shotgun.

Betti somehow hooks up with Cupid and after a powerful kiss is suddenly changed forever and even grows a pair of Cupid wings of her own as she becomes a “deity in training”. Cupid then accepts a challenge of a race from Valentine. They must each deliver their charges back to their bed room. Cupid befriends Benny and Valentine accepts Alejandro but first the two other worldly beings must connect on a deeper level with the two former lovers.

While the cast has had some experience in local theater, this production is not without its problems. The two hour show plus intermission does not seem to flow along as it might but is a series of jarring scenes designed to shock rather than to enlighten or amuse. While it does have its moments that are truly wonderful it borders on the bombastic. In short it could be toned down a bit and the scenes moved through at a slightly quicker and smoother pace. Sometimes less is better. Then there is the title. With all the available words in the English language, “I Wanna Love…”, “I Wanna Be…”, I Wanna Feel…” might have worked better.

Robert Wachala’s lighting is brilliant in segmenting the small stage. Léo Fez’s sound design is a continuous cornucopia of ethereal sounds and music that begins as you take your seat and continues throughout the play. Connor Krohn designed the unique stage set with diaphanous curtains giving hints of the set prior to the play’s start. Costume designer Kate Porter outfits the cast in believable garb. The show is directed by Léo Fez.

While not a bad production by any means, I simply found my mind wondering and my eyes checking my watch during the performance. While a believable premise, the show simply failed to engage me. I have no problems with the subject matter...just the presentation. Buy a ticket and see if you agree.

The Convergence-continuum production of “I Wanna F*** Like Romeo and Juliet” will be on stage in the Liminis Theatre located at 2438 Scranton Road, Cleveland, Ohio in historic Tremont through April 18, 2026 for more information and to purchase tickets go to https://www.convergence-continuum.org/ or call (216) 687-0074